Failing my first test from the LORD

Man ole man… a buddy of mine was telling me to watch out for the devil, as he was gonna try to distract me away from my new mission of serving the lord, and boy did he.  I’ll share the details with you, but before doing so, I’ll give you an update on medical condition.

DUDE!!!! I feel like a million bucks!!!  I mean outside of my left should being about 75% weaker from the muscle atrophy…I could not feel much better.  I’m starting to rehab the shoulder and I hope to be riding my dirt bike and training Jui Jitsui soon.

I had an appointment with my primary doctor this week to discuss the remaining tumor… the one on the right side of my neck.  She was blown away to hear the details of “medical obstacle course” and very thankful to hear of GOD’S mercy, unconditional love and miracle he had worked in my life.  She was also very concerned that the 6-10 doctors I had been in front of had not ran any blood tests.  Remember, the only blood work I had done was the underground analysis…and that is not something you talk about with doctors…even the Christian doctors.  If it’s not FDA approved, they do not believe in it – at least most of them.

So, with the last tumor being in my Thyroid area, she wanted to take a look at my calcium levels.  The results came back negative, so it does not involve the Thyroid or the Para – Thyroid.  They referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor.  I have an appointment on Monday October 11^th. to see the doctor and we will go from there. Personally, I feel the LORD will finish his miracle as soon as my transformation is complete…Until then, I’ll get that tumor checked out just to keep an eye on it.  So that’s it in the medical department.

Now back to the DEVIL coming after me.  My wife and I have had a dream of opening a restaurant for many years.  My in laws are in the Sushi business in San Francisco and my wife is a natural chef, just like her brothers.  So we have spent the last three years working on recipes and menu.  We’ve had our food dialed in for awhile and I thought we’ve been ready for a year or more to open our restaurant.

In the last year, we’ve tried to secure locations and make the right connections and for some reason, it always seemed to fall apart.  Then, after the LORD pulled the “rip cord” in my life on Septermber 23^rd, I understood that it always fell apart because we were not ready…  I was living for me and not for him.  So with my fresh, new outlook on life everything started to fall right into place.  My health improved and did a “U TURN”, my marriage was better than ever, my blood pressure was lower and I had finally moved past “MY COFFEE STAGE” (if you’re  confused…don’t worry about it…it’s gross)  Then we found the perfect spot!!!

I mean, it could have been anymore perfect.  It was in a killer spot…it was in perfect condition, and was going to require very little capital.  Then we understood why it didn’t work all those times before…because it wasn’t the LORDS will…and we were not putting him first.

At last…now we were walking with CHRIST, my health had turned around, I was getting a second chance at life and WE HAD FOUND THE PERFECT LOCATION.  My wife and I went into the space and for the first time EVER…prayed and asked the LORD to continue opening the right doors and closing the wrong doors… We really put it in his hands…  We went ahead and put a letter of intent on the property and were sure that the time had come for us to achieve our dream.

A gentleman that I love to death and respect a ton, told me shortly after…

“When you are praying…you better duck, because the answer to those prayers…good or bad… can come flying at you”

Boy was he right.  Within a few days our agent called me to tell me the space had leased…

“I’m sorry...someone else is getting the space” he explained.

It took my breath away.  It was like Josh Hamilton taking a bat to me kneecaps.  I mean…my dream was soooo close.  We had already taken ownership of that place and had envisioned all the hard work and late hours prior to opening day and everything.  Did I mention it was only about ½ mile from the new campus of our massive church and that about 20,000 people would be driving right by this spot every weekend on the way to church? 

“What?  How?” I thought to myself.  That can’t be…I mean, it was GODS will that we get in that space…I mean we prayed about it and everything…It was then that the DEVIL tried to strike.  Not having a drop of alcohol in over 3 weeks…I thought to myself…”I’m ready for a BIG MASSIVE drink”  and the rest of my day was spent back and forth…the good angel on one shoulder-keeping me on track and the little devil with the pitchfork on the other-talking all the negative stuff in my other ear.

“CMON…just one drink…at least say some cuss words” that miniature devil was telling me.

Just for the record…I don’t feel I had a drinking problem before all this started.  I do, however, feel that I was “sinning” with alcohol because I would turn to a few cold beers after a bad day…which seemed to be everyday…  It’s not a sin to drink…However, it is a sin to put anything before the LORD or turn to anything other than his love and guidance…especially in times of need.  At the end of those days, the last thing on my mind was the LORD or thinking of ways I could serve him.

Heck, I was thinking about giving all the kids a few teething tablets in their milk when I got home…just to catch a little peace and quiet.  Well, guess what…I have three incredible kids…I don’t need peace and quiet…I need to hear their beautiful little voices…saying all those new words they learned in the day…Plus, have you really listened to a 2 yr old and 4 yr old reason with one another?  It’s hysterical!!!

So, even though I didn’t give into temptation and have a drink…I did fail my first test walking with CHRIST.  Actually, I failed a couple.

The first test I failed was regarding the restaurant space.  I later learned that just because you feel something is right and you feel that the lord is going to give something to you…you may want to wait around for a confirmation from him that it’s his will.  If not, you could pray for something…already “assume’ that your will is aligned with the LORDS will and then…BAM!!! You’re let down, and the DEVIL swoops in and tries to take advantage of the situation.

Remember my buddy that said “DUCK WHEN YOU PRAY?”  Well it’s obvious we weren’t ready or the lord had different plans for us, because he closed that door faster than it had opened.

So I put my wants and needs in front of the LORD.  I almost had it right…I prayed about it and asked him make it happen if it’s his will…and I forgot to “DUCK” because he let me know quickly that it was not his will.

The second test I failed was regarding my TRUE FAITH in following and believing that he is my “GUIDING LIGHT”  After I found out that the space had leased…I spent the rest of the day questioning him…wondering if he heard me…and then fighting the little red devil on my shoulder.  I mean, I didn’t give in…but I let myself down and I let my HEAVENLY FATHER down by not listening to him and trusting that he was right.  So I should not have second guessed him…nor should I have spent the rest of that day fighting the devil.

So once again…I had to learn the hard way…and boy is it hard.  I’m thinking that the teacher/student relationship with the lord is kinda similar to Danialson and Mr. Miagi in the Karate Kid.  You spend all this time learning  these little drills that don’t make any sense at the time…but later, at some critical juncture all those little lessons become “HARDWIRED” into you and before you know it…you’re wounded…in a battle…and somehow you pull off a victory…

Restaurant or no restaurant…I already have my victory…Now I just need to keep doing all those little drills (praying) and be ready once it’s time to go to battle... with CHRIST leading me…I will continue to enjoy those victories.

All the best,

SW