Head On Collistion With Christ

Just when I thought I had reached the BEST that GOD had to offer…I just finished a 14 hour…3 day event called KAIROS.  The event was held at a campus of our Church and it TRULY ROCKED MY FOUNDATION.  Before I tell you about the incredible experience, and DIALOGUE I had with the creator of all…Please let me give you an update on my health condition.

So I had an appointment with the #1 rated Neurosurgeon in Dallas this week.  How do I know he is the #1 rated Neurosurgeon in Dallas?  Because he had “plaques” of the latest edition of “D” Magazine named  this year’s “BEST” of many categories…including medicine.

You would never guess he carried such an accolade…He was very genuine, sincere, and really seemed to care.  Did I mention he’s very skilled at what he does?  I mean as soon as he walked in the room…I felt that I was in front of a doctor that really knew his stuff.

After a battery of tests, and having the radiologist come to review my CT scan, the doctor came into the room to discuss his opinion.

Right away, he said, “I’ve seen many Syrinx Formations, and if I were you…it would not even be on my radar.  Everyone has fluid in their spinal cord…you just have a little extra…let’s monitor it on an annual basis and go from there”.

“WHEWWWW”!!! I thought.  I was just told that the scariest part of my medical diagnoses is nothing to be worried about at this time…AND I WAS ON CLOUD NINE!!!

Regarding the “TRI-FECTA” of medical issues…the second…and only remaining tumor, on the right side of my neck…he referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor with a specialty in Head and Neck Surgery.  I will be visiting with that doctor next week and will share that update as soon as I have some information.

Now…back to the really good stuff…The magic!!!

KAIROS was the name of the event.  The word is of Ancient Greek origin and means “THE RIGHT OR OPORTUNE” moment.  It’s an undefined period of time where some “SPECIAL THINGS” happen…and boy did they.

This is going to be extremely hard for me…How am I going to explain some of the events without blowing my top?  I really want to share some of the details…but how do you explain the unexplainable?  I think I’ll just tell you about a “FEW MOMENTS” I had and then answer questions or give additional information…such as contact info…website etc…to those that request it.  By the way…do yourself and your family a favor…request it!!!

So day one of the event was Thursday October 14, 2010 from 6 pm to 9 pm.  It started out as some really intense worship and something FELT really different.  Let me point out that I was raised in a Church of God family…so I thought I had seen it all…Maybe seen…but I had not felt it all…because something FELT different than any other worship service I’d been a part of.

It didn’t take long for me to realize what that feeling was…It was Christ!!!  I’m sure it was impossible for anyone to be in that room without FEELING him…

The event of KAIROS has a “KINGDOM” approach to teaching.  This is defined as looking at every aspect of our life and comparing it what our life would be like in the KINGDOM of GOD.  I think that’s a good definition…Funny… it’s just so difficult to describe.

So…it has a “KINGDOM” approach to teaching.  Well…what is being taught you ask?… here goes-

1.       Appetite for the Eternal

2.       Establishing Identity

3.       Hearing and seeing GOD

4.       Grace and receiving FORGIVENESS (One of my favorite sections)

5.       Healing in worship (Did you know the translation of worship actually means to BOW)

6.       Generational Iniquity and Bloodline Curses (Are there horrible patterns in your family’s history? Good chance you may have a Generational Iniquity or Bloodline Curse…yes, they are both very real)

7.       Breaking Soul Ties (Each time we have a relationship with someone…they take a little of us and we take a little of them…before long…we have very little to give the one we love the most.  This was a very moving segment for me.)

8.       Living without Regret.

9.       Judgments and Inner Vows (Man…our thoughts and words are so powerful…I never thought a judgment could do so much damage to my soul…this was very eye opening for me.)

10.   Shame (Result of Judgment made against ourselves)

11.   Freedom through Forgiveness (I was blown away that there is defined process to this and how easy it is on paper…but absolutely one of the trickiest things to do.  You can think you are in the clear…but be far from receiving FORGIVNESS from the lord yourself… think about it...if FORGIVENESS comes from CHRIST and we are unable to pass it along to others…ARE we really able to RECEIVE FORGIVENESS from CHRIST for OURSELVES…See-Very Tricky!!!)

12.   Healing Father/Mother wounds (Yes…that is actually taught in a Church…Having drug and alcohol abuse in my family…this was an AMAZING exercise for me…One of the most beneficial ones.)

13.   Inner Healing (This was one of the most detailed conversations I’ve ever had with Father GOD…it went on for about 15-20 minutes…WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE IT!!!)

14.   The Promise Of The SPIRIT

Instead of talking to each section…I will share a couple of the experiences and a few of my “TAKEAWAYS”

First, Thursday Night after our first taste of KAIROS…I slept so well…I mean better than I have in months.  I did have a dream that continued to play out all night…over and over.  We were told to write things down that we would LEAVE AT THE CROSS for JESUS to carry for us at the end of the third day.

In my dream…just as I was laying my list at the cross…I transformed into a NEW BORN BABY and I was crying over and over in the dream…you know the cry of a NEW BORN-They can wail.  This dream continued to play over and over all night.

The next day was Friday October 15, 2010 and I had a full 8 hour day with the Lord.  The very first speaker of the day shared his testimony which consisted of a very familiar dream…YEP- you guessed it…he was repeating the same dream back to me that I had the night before.  Now granted…there were a few differences…but it was WAY more similar than different.  I’m not sure what that means as of now…It could’ve just been confirmation from the LORD that I was about to experience a SPIRITUAL and MENTAL… RE-BIRTH.

That day I had MANY encounters with GOD and I will never forget them.  I was experiencing things I never even thought were possible.  I mean, crying that comes from somewhere so deep in your body…it makes your body feel about 10 ft deep…And when the crying comes on…there’s NO STOPPING IT…The only way I can describe it is like, when you have an accident and go to the bathroom in your pants…NO MATTER how hard you try to hold it… after awhile…YOU’RE ALL IN!!! Catch my drift?  Sorry for the analogy…but even with CHRIST leading me…I’m just as obnoxious as I ever was…but seriously…think about that feeling of NOT HAVING CONTROL…and then apply that feeling to crying…and you will have an idea of how it felt to cry so hard and so deep.

The event ended at 5:00 and I rushed home to eat and get the family ready because we had a LIFE GROUP bible study at 8:00...Yep- more time with the lord.  Seriously…that day I spent about 10 hours praying…worshiping and walking with JESUS.  All this, from a guy just a few months ago, who had a horrible mouth…was abusing alcohol…and was about as far from Christ as one could be…NOW I could not get enough!!!

Our Bible study went very well and I realized an area in my life that needed some prayer…A LOT of prayer.  You know how nerve-racking it is to study the Bible...not knowing a TON about the Bible?  Do you know how nerve-racking it is to study the Bible with people that know a TON about the Bible?  VERY!!!   It didn’t take long for JESUS to reach down and touch me because as soon as we started reading and talking about his word…My nervousness was G.O.N…GONE!!!

That night I didn’t sleep very well at all…I was up all night…In fact, no one slept well in my family.  I did however, have another dream.  This time it was a little confusing and I’ll be praying that clarity be given to me regarding the dream.

All night long I was dreaming…EPHESIANS 10… EPHESIANS 10… EPHESIANS 10. “This is awesome” I thought as I woke up.  The first scripture to be given to me by the LORD…Right?  Maybe…I’m still trying to figure it out.  You see…Ephesians seems to be one of the shortest books in the bible…there are only 6 chapters and I was dreaming about chapter 10.  There was another number that kept showing up in my dream as well…and it was the number 3.  If Ephesians 3 was my scripture…It appears that I may become a pastor…LOL…seriously…that was my takeaway from reading it.  WOW!!!  That would be crazy…If that’s the case…the lord has a TON of work to do on me…

So the next day was Saturday October 16, 2010 and it was the final day of KAIROS.  On the way to the event I was thinking about what I was going to eat, because I was starving…Then, something crazy happened.  This random thought just popped into my head.

  It said, “DON’T EAT.”

“What,” I replied.

“DON’T EAT, “was the thought again.

“WHY,” I Replied.

“DON’T EAT,” was the thought again.

“Okay…let’s see where this goes,” I said to myself.

I love food and this is the first time I can recall “starving myself”.  As soon as I walked into the Church, I felt the LORD, and he was asking me not to eat for some type of spiritual reason.  I wasn’t sure…but I loved my NEW relationship with my FATHER and I was not about to dis-obey him.  I would soon find out that I was in for the most healing experience of the event and of my life.

Without dragging this blog out for another 30 minutes…I’ll just talk at a very high level.  Holding the hand of GOD, I discovered some very deep wounds in my soul that were created when I was about 4 or 5 years old.  By the GRACE of his love, we replaced those scars with his GUIDING LIGHT.  Guiding light you may ask…what’s up with that?  I’m not sure…that’s what he chose to replace the scar… NOT ME.  I was in the back seat…He was driving that process…I was just a passenger, but it was one of the BEST RIDES OF MY LIFE…by the way- HE’S A GREAT DRIVER…YOU SHOULD TAKE A RIDE WITH HIM SOMETIME!!!

So I did not eat all day on Saturday.  I was at church…AGAIN that night and I prayed and asked the LORD if he wanted me to eat or fast…

“FAST,” he replied

I then confirmed it by asking him…

“Father, do you want me to eat…  Yes or No?”

“No,” he replied.

I said “OK” and thanked him for his love and guidance…then I went home..Prayed and went to sleep.

I started to wake up around 5 am on Sunday October 17, 2010 and started to pray.

“Father, do I eat or fast,?” I prayed.

“EAT,” he replied.

“Father, do I eat …yes or no?” I prayed.

“YES,” he replied.

Then I went back to sleep and started to dream about the awesome breakfast I would be having in just a few hours…AHHHH, biscuits, scrambled eggs, sausage, and a big glass of cold milk!!! YUMMY!!!

So I finally ate at 9:30 am which means I completed the first FAST in my life and made it 36 hours without one bite of food.  This is a huge deal for me…Just check out my Facebook page…My wife and I are serious foodies…I have almost as many pictures of food as I do of my kids.

Looking back, I wished I had not asked him WHY when he told me to fast.  Please remember, I did'nt know it was GOD…, however, I’m soooo thankful that I listened.  Also, I should have confirmed it with someone else instead of confirming it with the LORD myself…I think that is the process…I’m SO new at this…BUT I love my NEW life.

I think that’s about it for now…but before I shut it down I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read this and ask that you PLEASE share it with anyone you feel would benefit from reading it.

All the best,

SW

Failing my first test from the LORD

Man ole man… a buddy of mine was telling me to watch out for the devil, as he was gonna try to distract me away from my new mission of serving the lord, and boy did he.  I’ll share the details with you, but before doing so, I’ll give you an update on medical condition.

DUDE!!!! I feel like a million bucks!!!  I mean outside of my left should being about 75% weaker from the muscle atrophy…I could not feel much better.  I’m starting to rehab the shoulder and I hope to be riding my dirt bike and training Jui Jitsui soon.

I had an appointment with my primary doctor this week to discuss the remaining tumor… the one on the right side of my neck.  She was blown away to hear the details of “medical obstacle course” and very thankful to hear of GOD’S mercy, unconditional love and miracle he had worked in my life.  She was also very concerned that the 6-10 doctors I had been in front of had not ran any blood tests.  Remember, the only blood work I had done was the underground analysis…and that is not something you talk about with doctors…even the Christian doctors.  If it’s not FDA approved, they do not believe in it – at least most of them.

So, with the last tumor being in my Thyroid area, she wanted to take a look at my calcium levels.  The results came back negative, so it does not involve the Thyroid or the Para – Thyroid.  They referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor.  I have an appointment on Monday October 11^th. to see the doctor and we will go from there. Personally, I feel the LORD will finish his miracle as soon as my transformation is complete…Until then, I’ll get that tumor checked out just to keep an eye on it.  So that’s it in the medical department.

Now back to the DEVIL coming after me.  My wife and I have had a dream of opening a restaurant for many years.  My in laws are in the Sushi business in San Francisco and my wife is a natural chef, just like her brothers.  So we have spent the last three years working on recipes and menu.  We’ve had our food dialed in for awhile and I thought we’ve been ready for a year or more to open our restaurant.

In the last year, we’ve tried to secure locations and make the right connections and for some reason, it always seemed to fall apart.  Then, after the LORD pulled the “rip cord” in my life on Septermber 23^rd, I understood that it always fell apart because we were not ready…  I was living for me and not for him.  So with my fresh, new outlook on life everything started to fall right into place.  My health improved and did a “U TURN”, my marriage was better than ever, my blood pressure was lower and I had finally moved past “MY COFFEE STAGE” (if you’re  confused…don’t worry about it…it’s gross)  Then we found the perfect spot!!!

I mean, it could have been anymore perfect.  It was in a killer spot…it was in perfect condition, and was going to require very little capital.  Then we understood why it didn’t work all those times before…because it wasn’t the LORDS will…and we were not putting him first.

At last…now we were walking with CHRIST, my health had turned around, I was getting a second chance at life and WE HAD FOUND THE PERFECT LOCATION.  My wife and I went into the space and for the first time EVER…prayed and asked the LORD to continue opening the right doors and closing the wrong doors… We really put it in his hands…  We went ahead and put a letter of intent on the property and were sure that the time had come for us to achieve our dream.

A gentleman that I love to death and respect a ton, told me shortly after…

“When you are praying…you better duck, because the answer to those prayers…good or bad… can come flying at you”

Boy was he right.  Within a few days our agent called me to tell me the space had leased…

“I’m sorry...someone else is getting the space” he explained.

It took my breath away.  It was like Josh Hamilton taking a bat to me kneecaps.  I mean…my dream was soooo close.  We had already taken ownership of that place and had envisioned all the hard work and late hours prior to opening day and everything.  Did I mention it was only about ½ mile from the new campus of our massive church and that about 20,000 people would be driving right by this spot every weekend on the way to church? 

“What?  How?” I thought to myself.  That can’t be…I mean, it was GODS will that we get in that space…I mean we prayed about it and everything…It was then that the DEVIL tried to strike.  Not having a drop of alcohol in over 3 weeks…I thought to myself…”I’m ready for a BIG MASSIVE drink”  and the rest of my day was spent back and forth…the good angel on one shoulder-keeping me on track and the little devil with the pitchfork on the other-talking all the negative stuff in my other ear.

“CMON…just one drink…at least say some cuss words” that miniature devil was telling me.

Just for the record…I don’t feel I had a drinking problem before all this started.  I do, however, feel that I was “sinning” with alcohol because I would turn to a few cold beers after a bad day…which seemed to be everyday…  It’s not a sin to drink…However, it is a sin to put anything before the LORD or turn to anything other than his love and guidance…especially in times of need.  At the end of those days, the last thing on my mind was the LORD or thinking of ways I could serve him.

Heck, I was thinking about giving all the kids a few teething tablets in their milk when I got home…just to catch a little peace and quiet.  Well, guess what…I have three incredible kids…I don’t need peace and quiet…I need to hear their beautiful little voices…saying all those new words they learned in the day…Plus, have you really listened to a 2 yr old and 4 yr old reason with one another?  It’s hysterical!!!

So, even though I didn’t give into temptation and have a drink…I did fail my first test walking with CHRIST.  Actually, I failed a couple.

The first test I failed was regarding the restaurant space.  I later learned that just because you feel something is right and you feel that the lord is going to give something to you…you may want to wait around for a confirmation from him that it’s his will.  If not, you could pray for something…already “assume’ that your will is aligned with the LORDS will and then…BAM!!! You’re let down, and the DEVIL swoops in and tries to take advantage of the situation.

Remember my buddy that said “DUCK WHEN YOU PRAY?”  Well it’s obvious we weren’t ready or the lord had different plans for us, because he closed that door faster than it had opened.

So I put my wants and needs in front of the LORD.  I almost had it right…I prayed about it and asked him make it happen if it’s his will…and I forgot to “DUCK” because he let me know quickly that it was not his will.

The second test I failed was regarding my TRUE FAITH in following and believing that he is my “GUIDING LIGHT”  After I found out that the space had leased…I spent the rest of the day questioning him…wondering if he heard me…and then fighting the little red devil on my shoulder.  I mean, I didn’t give in…but I let myself down and I let my HEAVENLY FATHER down by not listening to him and trusting that he was right.  So I should not have second guessed him…nor should I have spent the rest of that day fighting the devil.

So once again…I had to learn the hard way…and boy is it hard.  I’m thinking that the teacher/student relationship with the lord is kinda similar to Danialson and Mr. Miagi in the Karate Kid.  You spend all this time learning  these little drills that don’t make any sense at the time…but later, at some critical juncture all those little lessons become “HARDWIRED” into you and before you know it…you’re wounded…in a battle…and somehow you pull off a victory…

Restaurant or no restaurant…I already have my victory…Now I just need to keep doing all those little drills (praying) and be ready once it’s time to go to battle... with CHRIST leading me…I will continue to enjoy those victories.

All the best,

SW

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New Beginning +4 days. THE ACTUAL BEGINNING!!!

I just remembered a critical part of the story.  The Sunday before we met with the “ding a ling” Neurosurgeon, a member of the ministry team at our church prayed over me and asked GOD to HEAL ME.  On the way home from church, my wife and I were thinking, “How come we never asked GOD to heal me?”  I mean, we were praying that the Lord would help us, give us strength etc… but we had forgotten how mighty our Father is and had somehow underestimated Him.  The next day was Monday September 13^th,  and I woke up with almost no pain; it was as if someone flicked a switch and my pain was ALMOST nonexistent.  We were SO excited as we felt we were making a turn, and we COULD NOT WAIT to see the Neurosurgeon the next day. Surely now that the Lord was IN THE DRIVERS SEAT, we would be lead by the second member of my surgical team.  As you read in my last post…NOTHING WAS FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH and again it seemed that we hit a dead end.

So now after dropping our Cardiothoracic Surgeon on September 14^th, my depression and Oxycontin consumption was at an all time high.  I was now starting to get angry.  After all, my left shoulder was just wasting away.  It seems that because of the combination of nerve issues and the lack of use of my left arm, I was experiencing a MASSIVE case of muscle atrophy.  For those that do not know…that means my muscles in my left shoulder were wasting away…Big deal if it looks like a skeleton…Now I was having to digest the fact that I was watching the things inside me aggressively take my life.

It was then that I started to think of my family the most and I started to cry.  Not just any cry…but the hardest cry…the most helpless cry…and the most SCARED cry that I had cried in my life.  If I waste away and lose the fight to the mystery that has stumped every MD I’ve been in front of in the past 3 ½ weeks, that’s one thing.  But now I was seriously imagining my sweet angels growing up without their daddy. I thought about not being there to love them, get their morning cereal, brush their teeth, and most importantly, establish their foundation of how a man is supposed to treat a lady.

We were never gonna have the father daughter dates or dances; they would sit at the door waiting for me to come home, only to be told by mom,

“Daddy is not coming home, honey.” I could just see them  night after night, crying themselves to sleep and telling everyone they met that they miss their dad.  I honestly thought that I couldn’t cry any harder…I was completely breaking down, just like now, as I type. 

Not having any luck with traditional medicine, it was now time for us to look at some “ALTERNATIVE” programs and treatments.  No "dancing with rattlesnakes" or "putting pins in dolls", but let's just say "NON FDA APPROVED STUFF"  It seemed almost instant.  As soon as we started doing "OUT OF THE BOX THINGS" my pain was gone, I was sleeping all night, NO MORE HOT BATHS at 3am…I mean things were really shaping up.

After about 5-6 pain free days, I thought to myself -  if I don’t have pain in the meltdown range, why am I still taking about 200 mg of Oxycontin a day?  The day was Monday September 20^th, and I decided that I was no longer going to take the pain medication, so I decreased my dosage from 200 mg down to 60 mg that day.  After doing some research on the internet, I learned the safest way to get off the hardcore pain meds was a step down method.  Most of those methods had a program that would take several weeks to get there.  This, for me, was not an option.  I began to have some clarity, and I felt that the pain medication was actually causing more harm to my body and making it weaker.  With my NEW, healthy approach to beating these things, I needed to get healthy and strong as quickly as I could and “weeks” to get off these pills was not an option.  So I took a more aggressive approach to the step down, and applied a BIG…DRASTIC drop in my medication.  The withdrawals were almost instant and very tough…Man- am I ever going to get a break, I thought to myself.  The answer would come the very next day, but it was the breaking of my heart that would occur at the same time.

The day was Tuesday September 21^st,  and I had an appointment to do some “UNDERGROUND” blood analysis.  A small sample of blood is taken and then placed on a slide to be viewed by a super strong microscope.  Pretty cool process: on a tv screen, I was seeing all the components of my blood.  The cholesterol crystals, the parasites (I know…it’s disgusting-but we all have them) and then we saw indications of severe stress on my kidneys and liver.  This was not good.  Then, just when I thought I was at the bottom of my world falling apart…the rug was pulled from beneath me.  

“OH NO,” SHE SAYS.

  My heart almost stopped.  

“WHAT?” I questioned.  

“RIGHT THERE,” she replied, “Those are malignant cells, and that’s not normal.”

  I looked,  and they appeared to be cells with no color.  They had walls, but then they were black on the inside of the walls.  Now I was sure I was a goner…My head bowed…my eyes closed, and I felt as if a death sentence was just delivered, and it had my name on it.

She asked If wanted to hear the good news.  Good news?  I thought to myself; what could be good about finding out that I have malignant cells in my blood and I can’t find any doctors that can help me?  Then she says, “The good news is your cells are healthy, and the bad cells seem to be very few.  This means that you are catching it early and if you make some RADICAL changes, you, may be able to beat it ON YOUR OWN without any doctors.” 

“WHAT?” I replied…”Tell me more” She proceeded to tell me about some serious diet options, MORE supplements than the 5-10 I was already taking.  Whatever, I thought…I’ll do anything...

Now, I had to go home and deliver the bad news to my wife…AGAIN!!!  After I told her about the bad cells, she said, “NOW WE KNOW…AND WE WILL BEAT IT!!!”  After she spent the rest of the day on the computer, she came to me and said, “HERE’S OUR PLAN.”  If I thought I had made changes to my diet before…those were nothing.  It took her about 20 minutes to explain the program, the thought behind the program, and all the components.  They included the elimination of sugar, wheat, meat, yeast, alcohol and MOST of everything else I ate on a daily basis.  

“You mean no more sugar frosted flakes for me EVERY morning?” I asked.  She laughed and said that I couldn’t  even THINK about eating that stuff.  It was then that she shared the MOST IMPORTANT part of my program:  My mind, thoughts and belief system…

 “They have to lead the way to you beating this,” she explained.  I was ready to get the party started; I had a  feeling of empowerment, as if I was taking an ACTIVE role in my recovery, RECAPTURING the chance for those father/daughter dances …but most importantly, as I would discover in the next few days, the testimony that this would  create.  

My excitement QUICKLY turned to SHOCK as I discovered the most critical part of this aggressive therapy would be COFFEE ENIMAS! Yes, I just said COFFEE ENIMAS!!!  Did I mention, I was SHOCKED?  Not only shocked…but scared to death.  I’ve never even said those two words in the same sentence…”FINE, LET’S GET THE PARTY STARTED,” I said.  Off to the Whole Foods she went.  She was stocking up on fruits and vegetables for the 100 ounces of fresh juice I would drink a day. 

 Then, she called and said, “Honey, would you like French Roast or just a Regular American Roast Coffee?” We both started cracking up.

The next day was Wednesday September 22^nd,  and it was about my 9^th day with ZERO pain…YES, I said ZERO pain.  In addition to that, I was down from 200 mg of pain pills to only 30 mg twice a day and feeling better than ever.  Then I smelled coffee brewing, and I knew it was about to change my GREAT morning.  I’m not going to “paint the picture” for you, but let me say that yes, it’s as BAD as you can imagine.  Then it got worse.  She told me that I had to do this twice in the morning and twice at night… 

 I said “LET’S ROLL…FILL ME UP!” And we both started cracking up.  She loved it!!!  She thought it was hysterical…  She even talked me into letting her FILM the first one.  Yes…I made a dirty movie!!!  

With this new, aggressive attitude, came a calm that I had not experienced…maybe in my whole life.  At this point, I finally felt as if we were in the driver seat.  I was partly right…we were in the car, but someone else was driving as I would find out the very next day.

With Wednesday almost being finished, I received a call from a Dr’s office where I had been trying to get into for almost 2 weeks.  It was the scheduling department.  

She said, “Mr. Wooley, I know that you have been trying to get in to see the Doctor,  and I have some good news.  We had a cancellation. Can you be here at 9:30 tomorrow morning?”

  I said, “You bet!!!”  After, my nightly cup of Joe later that night, I downloaded the new patient documents from the website and started to fill them out.  Something was different now.  I had no pain, I was almost off the pain meds, and I had a strange peace about things…Almost as if I knew, Win, Lose or Draw…I had experienced a change as a person.  I didn’t know when or how I changed, but I was sure that something had changed in my life.

The next day was Thursday September 23^rd,  and I woke up with a “peace” that I had not had in my whole life.  It seemed that I was comfortable with whatever the visit with the Doctor would bring.  So I had my morning coffee, and I was off.  The hour drive was great!!!  The best drive I could remember having before, in bumper to bumper traffic .  After I jumped through all the hoops needed to get a visit with this doctor, the moment had finally arrived.  Here I was, pumped to be in front of a doctor that specialized in bone, joint, and nerve tumors…then he walks in, and he has a neck brace on.  It was  comical!!!  I was here to get fixed , and the doctor appeared that he needed some fixing of his own.  I was comfortable with his grouchy, abrasive, rude personality from the beginning.

He started the interview.  

“It say’s here that you had to visit emergency rooms because your pain was bad.  How bad is your pain today?” He asked.

  “Zero,” I replied…”

“Fantastic, how many pain pills are you on?” he asked.

  “Zero,” I said with confidence. 

“ Really?  How long has your pain been at this level?” was his next question. 

 “More than a week,” was my answer.  

“What do you think decreased your pain?”  he asked.  

“Well, I’ve changed my mind set, my diet, had tons of prayer by tons of people, and I’m doing coffee enemas.”  LOL…I can’t keep from laughing when I say that…  

He laughs as well and says, “You know it has nothing to do with those things…it’s obvious, the tumor is getting smaller.  Let’s get a new CT scan and find out for sure.”  I thought to myself…I know exactly why it’s getting smaller…but hey, he’s an MD and everything needs to be proven scientifically for doctors. 

 I said, “Great, let’s get the party started!” And… I was off to imaging for about the 7^th time in the last 30 days.

The scan went well, and I was off to the office for a late start to my day at work.  Now…here is the part that you have been waiting for.  Here  comes the magic!!!  I sell new homes for a National Homebuilder, and I have been in my new community and model for about 2 weeks at this point.  Most of which, I was maxed out in the pain department, pain meds, depression, fear, or all the fore mentioned. 

When I walked into my model home, it was like it was the first time I had been in it.  It was familiar but more unfamiliar.  It was brand new;  everything was perfect, and I started to SLIGHTLY remember, Wait a minute…this is where I work…This is what I do and this is my office  I thought, in TOTAL amazement.  I started walking through the model just in awe at how perfect everything was; then, I went to my office.  I saw my things, my pictures, but yet I had no memory of moving my things in.  I saw my legal pad with my notes on it, in my hand writing, but had ZERO memory of writing them.  I started to cry uncontrollable…I mean I was balling, but at the same time I was laughing just as loud…I finally had a piece of my normal “PRE TUMOR” life back, so I called my wife.

As she answered, she thought something was wrong because I was a mess - crying like a kid and laughing at the same time.  I recounted everything.  “This is so weird…I don’t know what’s going on…it’s like I have never been here…seriously honey, where have I been the last 2 weeks because I have not been here…in my office?”  I was pacing from room to room in disbelief with no explanation of what was going on.  My wife had to go, so we hung up.  Then I was alone in my model ,still crying like crazy and laughing at the same time and I became aware of my senses.   All of a sudden I was no longer laughing…I was still crying when I was consumed with THANKFULLNESS…  I was so THANKFUL.  I was THANKFUL for my job, for my model, my family, and then I became THANKFUL for my TUMORS and the last HORRIFIC month of depression, pain medication, bad doctors, dead ends and bad attitudes…because then I realized the lesson I needed to learn.  I needed to learn to be THANKFUL and live in the here and now and to appreciate what I have instead of pushing to get MORE!!!  Then I realized something else as I was sobbing… GOD was there… He was with me!!!  I mean He was in everything…it’s like the room was full of static electricity.  I even noticed I felt intoxicated…seriously…like a 4 beer buzz or something.  And I started crying even harder, (JUST AS I AM NOW), and I started THANKING Him for everything, and it all made sense at that moment…The secret had been revealed!!!

As I was waiting for someone that was helping me with some of the “ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES” to call me back, I could feel the intoxicated feeling slowly leaving my body…I even said it out loud, “It’s going back to normal…It’s leaving now.”  It was magic, and I started to laugh again like crazy. That day, September 23, 2010, was the beginning of the rest of my life.  It was the beginning of my life serving God…not just lip service any longer…really living my life for Him. That is why you are reading this right now, and it’s a reminder to me of the best experience of my life…the day that I started my life over!!!

In the coming days, weeks, months, years, I will document the rest of my story as it unfolds, and I am again so THANKFUL for finally learning the lesson. I hope you can learn from my mistakes, and it doesn’t take TUMORS, or some tragedy for you to realize that GOD loves you.  If he has room for me with all the wild things I’ve done in my life…then certainly He has room for you.

By the way, my name is Scott Wooley.  I’m proud to say that I’m married to Susan Wooley and proud to say that I live for Christ and I will never forget His compassion for loving a sinner like me.

I am so THANKFUL that you took the time to read this story.  Please, if you feel that my story would touch others… please pass it along.  

NEW BEGINING + 8 Days...Riding shotgun with the LORD!!!

Need proof that our lord is in TOTAL control?  You’ll get it today.  But before doing so, let me tell you about the last week of walking with him.

Last Friday, September 24^th , one day after my CRASH COLLISSION with the lord in my sales office (if you don’t know what I mean…go back to my last blog entry).  I was feeling so empowered, and walking with a confidence that I can’t recall having.  So here I was, sitting at my desk, thinking about the last 30 day roller coaster I had been on and I was already beginning to forget key points.  It was then and there that I decided to write this blog.  At the time, I thought it was to remind myself of the crazy events that lead BACK to the lord… I would soon find out that the purpose of the blog was for others to read and not for me.

That night I slept very poorly.  When I say poorly…I mean like maybe two hours…max!!!  I think it was a combination of my new exciting life serving the lord and the AGONY of detoxing from the pain meds.  It was about 5:00 a.m. and I finally said the heck with it and I got out of bed and went to watch T.V.  It was raining like crazy and I was thinking…”Man- I wished I could sleep right now”  In the meantime, my wife was sleeping hard enough for both of us…She deserves it…but she snores like a man!!!  Wait- did I just say that?  No…I wrote it.  This is a blog and I can write what I choose.  She’s gonna get me when she reads it though…

So after watching the morning news for almost 2.5 hours straight…I finally got dressed and headed to Whole Foods to get my supplies for the day… organic veggies, fruits, yogurt etc.  On the way there, it was still raining like crazy… I mean I could barely see.  I didn’t need too… It was during that ride that the lord spoke to me again.  I thought I was writing this blog for me to remember the events of my experience.  However, during that drive I learned that I was writing this blog for you to read…just as you are now.  In addition, I learned that the entire ordeal of the last 5 weeks was to teach me to be thankful for the things I have and also as a testimony to share with others regarding the grace of our father;god. 

Now my life was really beginning to have purpose, I felt.  As if delivering 3 babies at home in less than 5 years and homeschooling them was not enough pressure…Now I was being delegated, by the lord to fight for him and use my testimony to lead others to him.  It was a lot of responsibility…but I felt no pressure.  In fact, I prayed that he would reveal more plans quickly.  I was moving a little too fast, as he was not done in the miracle department!!!

That day at work…it rained all day.  This gave me time to write…In between calling customers all day- trying to "drum" up some business...I wrote and wrote and wrote.  The more I wrote…the better I felt.  This was new to me; as I am no writer…and for sure- I’m no blogger…but I was feeling like a million bucks…the words were just pouring out of me.  Most of them misspelled of course…but none the less…they were flying out at about 20 words per minute because my typing is worse than my spelling…LOL!!!

Sunday, September 24^th , we took communion at church and I was a mess.  I’m sure everyone was thinking I was a freak because I could not even look up without bursting into tears.  My heart seemed as if it had an open wound and every little “nudge” would cause me to cry…uncontrollable.  I was so thankful and I felt more humility than I can ever imagine.  It was like I was a child and I was being embraced by my father, whom I had not seen…IN MANY YEARS…and in fact that was the case.  I was there…100% open and humbled by the love and compassion of my father…Jesus.  I had never felt so close to him in my life.  I had gone to church most of my life…but I was a “CASUAL CHRISTIAN”  I was at church for holidays or when I had tragedy in my life…some of you know the drill. Not Now… BABY I WAS ALL IN!!!- That day at work was another awesome day and before I knew it, I was back at home with my family…loving on the kiddos.

The next day was Monday September 25^th and it was a normal day at the office.  I was still starving because I was only doing raw fruits and veggies, yes, the 100 ounces of juice daily, and yes…my morning and evening coffee. (If you don’t know what I mean about the coffee…no need to read my last post…it’s gross!!!)  Somehow I was managing to get by on the 1000 or so calories a day… and that day zipped by as well.

The next day was Tuesday September 28^th.   First thing, was taking the girls to gymnastics class, where they are dominating. Hand stands on the rings and everything…already at the age of four…CRAZY how agile they are.  After class, we went to our local ORGANIC VEGETABLE CO-OP to get our weekly load of ORGANIC Fruits and Vegetables.  Being pain free for close to two weeks now, and my “NEW, ENERGIZED” outlook on life, I was eager to share my story with anyone who would make the mistake of listening…Once I start…it’s hard to stop.

I didn’t have to look far for someone ready to listen.  In fact, as I was picking up our “TUB” of goods, I struck up a conversation with the husband and wife team that run the organic co-op.  After introducing myself…they of course said what everyone says…

“YOUR WIFE IS SO AMAZING” they said.

I was thinking…”what am I…chopped liva”?  Nah- just kidding…I love it when she gets the credit and acknowledgment she clearly deserves…  However…I said, “Yes she is…and I’m the guy that was smart enough to snatch her up”.  Anyway, they are great people and if you live in HEB area and need a less expensive avenue to organic fruits and vegetables please get with me and I’ll pass their info along.

Next, I was lucky enough enough to talk my sister into taking #1 and #2 (that’s what I call my girls) to the park and to CiCi’s pizza, and mama bear had #3 (my boy) with her for an appointment.  That meant I had the house to myself and no kids…with no pain and a ton of energy…I put on MONSTER BALLADS and I was in super cleaning mode…I would pay for it later that night…as I was super sore.

The next day was Wednesday September 29^th.  We spent the morning getting ready for a trip to one of our best friend’s house who has two boys the same ages as my girls.  We were going to drop them off and head to an appointment for some more of that “ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT”.  This time it was in the way of a colloidal silver I.V treatment.  VERY COOL stuff…Google it.  Not much there because it is so underground, but basically, they use colloidal silver, which is a natural antibiotic that works wonders for burns, infections, cuts, bruises, ear aches, teething babies…all kinds of stuff.

The person applying the therapy will remain unnamed…unless you are seriously sick…then get with me and I’ll get you with him.  He hooks me up to an IV and the pink color fluid began to flow into my body.  That’s about as exciting as it was…nothing too funny to share…all the magic takes place in your body.  That stuff kills “BAD CELLS” in your blood very quickly. After the treatment it was back to grab the girls and back to our house to call it a day.  I needed my rest…GOD WAS ABOUT TO MAKE ANOTHER GUEST APPEARANCE IN MY LIFE!!!

The next day was Thursday September 30^th and I had a follow up appointment with the mean ol’ surgeon that never says hello, goodbye or even looks at you…but he was in a neck brace and I thought he was a pretty cool guy…in his own way.  There I was…waiting for the results from last week’s CT scan.  You remember… the one that I did the morning of September 23^rd… the day that the lord pulled the emergency brake on my life.  So it was a full 7 days that I had recommitted my life to the lord and I felt that he was in the driver’s seat for the first time in my life.

Then the doctor walked in and in traditional manner…no, good morning, hello, nothing.  He just starts reading my file and looking at my CT scan.  I hear him mumbling to himself something along the line of…

“Huh…okay…wow…” then he turns to me and says, “Mr. Wooley your tumor is GONE…I’m not sure what happened…because tumors like yours DO NOT JUST GO AWAY…it was probably a swollen lymph node or something…but anyway…IT’S GONE”

I freaked out and started crying…again.  Man, at this point, I had cried more in the last seven days than I think I had in my entire life…I mean the tears were flowing.  Then I got a hold of myself and I looked up and he said.

“We’ll do a follow up MRI in 30 days” and then poof…he was gone quicker than an 18mm tumor in the brachial plexus nerve….you like that?  That was me trying to be funny…I guess I’m no comedian either.

I was so thankful again.  Only this time I was not thankful for me…I was thankful for the pictures of the tumor…the hospital reports and all the evidence I had that showed there was a tumor and you could see it clear as day.  Now…it was gone and I was excited that I now had PHYSICAL proof that I could use in my new crusade of sharing my testimony and leading others to our Christ.

As soon as I could, I called my wife and started crying and screaming at the same time…”Honey- he took my tumor away…this is going to change others people’s lives…This is just adding physical proof to the awesome testimony that I already have” Just when I thought I had all the confirmation I needed, I got in my car and turned on the radio.  Just as I did… the same song I that heard the previous Thursday, September 23^rd, JUST AFTER GIVING MY LIFE TO THE LORD... came on.  It’s that new song by Matt Maher, it’s called “HOLD US TOGETHER”  and the chorus says, “TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT”  I mean I just heard that song last Thursday after my walk with the lord and just after I had the CT scan completed…And now I’ve just been given the results that my TUMOR was GONE and the same song was on again…call it what you want…I’m calling it confirmation…The lord was letting me, just as he did a week earlier…”THAT THIS WAS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE”…and now it was clear that the circle had been starting and now it’s up to me to continue to search for his direction and start my life of serving him….thus completing the circle!

Now that today is Friday October 1^st and I am caught up with all the events…maybe the super long posts will not be necessary.  Just so you know, I still have one tumor on the right side of my neck, which I will be seeing doctors for soon and I have no additional information on the Syrinx Formation in my back and no symptoms from either.  I will update the blog with additional entries as they happen.

My family and I ARE NOT CONCERNED about my health AT ALL…Just as my song goes…”IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT”

Again, thank you for reading my blog.  I make no promises at getting better at blogging…but I do promise to share my testimony with anyone that will listen and I ask that you pass it along to ANYONE you feel would benefit from reading it.

All the best…

SW

New Beginning +4 days. THE ACTUAL BEGINNING!!!

I just remembered a critical part of the story.  The Sunday before we met with the “ding a ling” Neurosurgeon, one of the ministry leaders at our church prayed over me and asked GOD to HEAL ME.  On the way home from church, my wife and I were thinking, “How come we never asked GOD to heal me?”  I mean, we were praying that the Lord would help us, give us strength etc… but we had forgotten how mighty our Father is and had somehow underestimated Him.  The next day was Monday September 13^th,  and I woke up with ALMOST no pain; it was as if someone flicked a switch and my pain was ALMOST nonexistent.  We were SO excited as we felt we were making a turn, and we COULD NOT WAIT to see the Neurosurgeon the next day. Surely now that the Lord was IN THE DRIVERS SEAT, we would be lead by the second member of my surgical team.  As you read in my last post…NOTHING WAS FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH and again it seemed that we hit a dead end.

So now after dropping our Cardiothoracic Surgeon on September 14^th, my depression and Oxycontin consumption was at an all time high.  I was now starting to get angry.  After all, my left shoulder was just wasting away.  It seems that because of the combination of nerve issues and the lack of use of my left arm, I was experiencing a MASSIVE case of muscle atrophy.  For those that do not know…that means my muscles in my left shoulder were wasting away…Big deal if it looks like a skeleton…Now I was having to digest the fact that I was watching the things inside me aggressively take my life.

It was then that I started to think of my family the most and I started to cry.  Not just any cry…but the hardest cry…the most helpless cry…and the most SCARED cry that I had cried in my life.  If I waste away and lose the fight to the mystery that has stumped every MD I’ve been in front of in the past 3 ½ weeks, that’s one thing.  But now I was seriously imagining my sweet angels growing up without their daddy. I thought about not being there to love them, get their morning cereal, brush their teeth, and most importantly, establish their foundation of how a man is supposed to treat a lady.

We were never gonna have the father daughter dates or dances; they would sit at the door waiting for me to come home, only to be told by mom, “Daddy is not coming home, honey.” I could just see them  night after night, crying themselves to sleep and telling everyone they met that they miss their dad.  I honestly thought that I couldn’t cry any harder…I was completely breaking down, just like now, as I type. 

Not having any luck with traditional medicine, it was now time for us to look at some “ALTERNATIVE” programs and treatments.  No "dancing with rattlesnakes" or "putting pins in dolls", but let's just say "NON FDA APPROVED STUFF"  It seemed almost instant.  As soon as we started doing "OUT OF THE BOX THINGS" my pain was gone, I was sleeping all night, NO MORE HOT BATHS at 3am…I mean things were really shaping up.

After about 5-6 pain free days, I thought to myself -  if I don’t have pain in the meltdown range, why am I still taking about 200 mg of Oxycontin a day?  The day was Monday September 20^th, and I decided that I was no longer going to take the pain medication, so I decreased my dosage from 200 mg down to 60 mg that day.  After doing some research on the internet, I learned the safest way to get off the hardcore pain meds was a step down method.  Most of those methods had a program that would take several weeks to get there.  This, for me, was not an option.  I began to have some clarity, and I felt that the pain medication was actually causing more harm to my body and making it weaker.  With my NEW, healthy approach to beating these things, I needed to get healthy and strong as quickly as I could and “weeks” to get off these pills was not an option.  So I took a more aggressive approach to the step down, and applied a BIG…DRASTIC drop in my medication.  The withdrawals were almost instant and very tough…Man- am I ever going to get a break, I thought to myself.  The answer would come the very next day, but it was the breaking of my heart that would occur at the same time.

The day was Tuesday September 21^st,  and I had an appointment to do some “UNDERGROUND” blood analysis.  A small sample of blood is taken and then placed on a slide to be viewed by a super strong microscope.  Pretty cool process: on a tv screen, I was seeing all the components of my blood.  The cholesterol crystals, the parasites (I know…it’s disgusting-but we all have them) and then we saw indications of severe stress on my kidneys and liver.  This was not good.  Then, just when I thought I was at the bottom of my world falling apart…the rug was pulled from beneath me.  

“OH NO,” SHE SAYS.

  My heart almost stopped.  

“WHAT?” I questioned.  

“RIGHT THERE,” she replied, “Those are malignant cells, and that’s not normal.”

  I looked,  and they appeared to be cells with no color.  They had walls, but then they were black on the inside of the walls.  Now I was sure I was a goner…My head bowed…my eyes closed, and I felt as if a death sentence was just delivered, and it had my name on it.

She asked If wanted to hear the good news.  Good news?  I thought to myself; what could be good about finding out that I have malignant cells in my blood and I can’t find any doctors that can help me?  Then she says, “The good news is your cells are healthy, and the bad cells seem to be very few.  This means that you are catching it early and if you make some RADICAL changes, you, may be able to beat it ON YOUR OWN without any doctors.” 

“WHAT?” I replied…”Tell me more” She proceeded to tell me about some serious diet options, MORE supplements than the 5-10 I was already taking.  Whatever, I thought…I’ll do anything...

Now, I had to go home and deliver the bad news to my wife…AGAIN!!!  After I told her about the bad cells, she said, “NOW WE KNOW…AND WE WILL BEAT IT!!!”  After she spent the rest of the day on the computer, she came to me and said, “HERE’S OUR PLAN.”  If I thought I had made changes to my diet before…those were nothing.  It took her about 20 minutes to explain the program, the thought behind the program, and all the components.  They included the elimination of sugar, wheat, meat, yeast, alcohol and MOST of everything else I ate on a daily basis.  

“You mean no more sugar frosted flakes for me EVERY morning?” I asked.  She laughed and said that I couldn’t  even THINK about eating that stuff.  It was then that she shared the MOST IMPORTANT part of my program:  My mind, thoughts and belief system…

 “They have to lead the way to you beating this,” she explained.  I was ready to get the party started; I had a  feeling of empowerment, as if I was taking an ACTIVE role in my recovery, RECAPTURING the chance for those father/daughter dances …but most importantly, as I would discover in the next few days, the testimony that this would  create.  

My excitement QUICKLY turned to SHOCK as I discovered the most critical part of this aggressive therapy would be COFFEE ENIMAS! Yes, I just said COFFEE ENIMAS!!!  Did I mention, I was SHOCKED?  Not only shocked…but scared to death.  I’ve never even said those two words in the same sentence…”FINE, LET’S GET THE PARTY STARTED,” I said.  Off to the Whole Foods she went.  She was stocking up on fruits and vegetables for the 100 ounces of fresh juice I would drink a day. 

 Then, she called and said, “Honey, would you like French Roast or just a Regular American Roast Coffee?” We both started cracking up.

The next day was Wednesday September 22^nd,  and it was about my 9^th day with ZERO pain…YES, I said ZERO pain.  In addition to that, I was down from 200 mg of pain pills to only 30 mg twice a day and feeling better than ever.  Then I smelled coffee brewing, and I knew it was about to change my GREAT morning.  I’m not going to “paint the picture” for you, but let me say that yes, it’s as BAD as you can imagine.  Then it got worse.  She told me that I had to do this twice in the morning and twice at night… 

 I said “LET’S ROLL…FILL ME UP!” And we both started cracking up.  She loved it!!!  She thought it was hysterical…  She even talked me into letting her FILM the first one.  Yes…WE made a dirty movie!!!  

With this new, aggressive attitude, came a calm that I had not experienced…maybe in my whole life.  At this point, I finally felt as if we were in the driver seat.  I was partly right…we were in the car, but someone else was driving as I would find out the very next day.

With Wednesday coming to an end, I received a call from a Dr’s office where I had been trying to get into for almost 2 weeks.  It was the scheduling department.  

She said, “Mr. Wooley, I know that you have been trying to get in to see the Doctor,  and I have some good news.  We had a cancellation. Can you be here at 9:30 tomorrow morning?”

  I said, “You bet!!!”  After, my nightly cup of Joe later that night, I downloaded the new patient documents from the website and started to fill them out.  Something was different now.  I had no pain, I was almost off the pain meds, and I had a strange peace about things…Almost as if I knew, Win, Lose or Draw…I had experienced a change as a person.  I didn’t know when or how I changed, but I was sure that something had changed in my life.

The next day was Thursday September 23^rd,  and I woke up with a “peace” that I had not had in my whole life.  It seemed that I was comfortable with whatever the visit with the Doctor would bring.  So I had my morning coffee, and I was off.  The hour drive was great!!!  The best drive I could remember having before, in bumper to bumper traffic .  After I jumped through all the hoops needed to get a visit with this doctor, the moment had finally arrived.  Here I was, pumped to be in front of a doctor that specialized in bone, joint, and nerve tumors…then he walks in, and he has a neck brace on.  It was  comical!!!  I was here to get fixed , and the doctor appeared that he needed some fixing of his own.  I was comfortable with his grouchy, abrasive, rude personality from the beginning.

He started the interview.  

“It say’s here that you had to visit emergency rooms because your pain was bad.  How bad is your pain today?” He asked.

  “Zero,” I replied…”

“Fantastic, how many pain pills are you on?” he asked.

  “Zero,” I said with confidence. 

“ Really?  How long has your pain been at this level?” was his next question. 

 “More than a week,” was my answer.  

“What do you think decreased your pain?”  he asked.  

“Well, I’ve changed my mind set, my diet, had tons of prayer by tons of people, and I’m doing coffee enemas.”  LOL…I can’t keep from laughing when I say that…  

He laughs as well and says, “You know it has nothing to do with those things…it’s obvious, the tumor is getting smaller.  Let’s get a new CT scan and find out for sure.”  I thought to myself…I know exactly why it’s getting smaller…but hey, he’s an MD and everything needs to be proven scientifically for doctors. 

 I said, “Great, let’s ROCK & ROLL!” And… I was off to imaging for about the 7^th time in the last 30 days.

The scan went well, and I was off to the office for a late start to my day at work.  Now…here is the part that you have been waiting for.  Here  comes the magic!!!  I sell new homes for a National Homebuilder, and I have been in my new community and model for about 2 weeks at this point.  Most of which, I was maxed out in the pain department, pain meds, depression, fear, or all the fore mentioned. 

When I walked into my model home, it was like it was the first time I had been in it.  It was familiar but more unfamiliar.  It was brand new;  everything was perfect, and I started to SLIGHTLY remember, Wait a minute…this is where I work…This is what I do and this is my office  I thought, in TOTAL amazement.  I started walking through the model just in awe at how perfect everything was; then, I went to my office.  I saw my things, my pictures, but yet I had no memory of moving my things in.  I saw my legal pad with my notes on it, in my hand writing, but had ZERO memory of writing them.  I started to cry uncontrollable…I mean I was balling, but at the same time I was laughing just as loud…I finally had a piece of my normal “PRE TUMOR” life back, so I called my wife.

As she answered, she thought something was wrong because I was a mess - crying like a kid and laughing at the same time.  I recounted everything.  “This is so weird…I don’t know what’s going on…it’s like I have never been here…seriously honey, where have I been the last 2 weeks because I have not been here…in my office?”  I was pacing from room to room in disbelief with no explanation of what was going on.  My wife had to go, so we hung up.  Then I was alone in my model ,still crying like crazy and laughing at the same time and I became aware of my senses.   All of a sudden I was no longer laughing…I was still crying when I was consumed with THANKFULLNESS…  I was so THANKFUL.  I was THANKFUL for my job, for my model, my family, and then I became THANKFUL for my TUMORS and the last HORRIFIC month of depression, pain medication, bad doctors, dead ends and bad attitudes…because then I realized the lesson I needed to learn.  I needed to learn to be THANKFUL and live in the here and now and to appreciate what I have instead of pushing to get MORE!!!  Then I realized something else as I was sobbing… GOD was there… He was with me!!!  I mean He was in everything…it’s like the room was full of static electricity.  I even noticed I felt intoxicated…seriously…like a HEAVY ALCOHOL buzz or something.  Then, I started crying even harder, (JUST AS I AM NOW), and I started THANKING Him for everything, and it all made sense at that moment…The secret had been revealed!!! HE WAS THE ANSWER and HE WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME WAITING FOR ME!!!

As I was waiting for someone that was helping me with some of the “ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES” to call me back, I could feel the intoxicated feeling slowly leaving my body…I even said it out loud, “It’s going back to normal…It’s leaving now.”  It was magic, and I started to laugh again like crazy. That day, September 23, 2010, was the beginning of the rest of my life.  It was the beginning of my life serving God…not just lip service any longer…really living my life for Him. That is why you are reading this right now, and it’s a reminder to me of the best experience of my life…the day that I started my life over!!!

In the coming days, weeks, months, years, I will document the rest of my story as it unfolds, and I am again so THANKFUL for finally learning the lesson. I hope you can learn from my mistakes, and it doesn’t take TUMORS, or some tragedy for you to realize that GOD loves you.  If he has room for me with all the wild things I’ve done in my life…then certainly He has room for you.

By the way, my name is Scott Wooley.  I’m proud to say that I’m married to Susan Wooley and proud to say that I live for Christ and I will never forget His compassion for loving a sinner like me.

I am so THANKFUL that you took the time to read this story.  Please, if you feel that my story would touch others… please pass it along.