New Beginning + 1 day

After resisting my wife's advice to start a blog, I felt that today would be the day that I start to share my thoughts, opinions, and most importantly, the UNBELIEVABLE experience that the last 30 days has brought to me.

I’m going to share the story of my medical isolation, the high jacking of my awareness by pain medication,  and the crowning moment of getting my life back.  After that, who knows where it will go!

I think the last 30 days of my life will excite most emotions: Happiness, Sadness, Excitement, Fear, Belief, Disbelief, and most importantly...THANKFULNESS!!!

Just so you know, I am a 38 year old male from Texas, madly in love with the love of my life for 16 years and my wife of 6 years, the proud father of 2 girls, ages 4 and 2, and a sweet little baby boy of 8 months.  My life was the best...so I thought.  Amazing family- check, great career-check, super hot wife who gave birth to all 3 children at home and runs every part of my life, including homeschooling our children-check...Little did I know that my life would come crashing down only to rise from the ashes all in only 30 days...Need a hint to stay interested?  Can you say Tumor?  Ahhh...see where this is heading?

Today is Friday, September 24, 2010, and I just realized that my new life began yesterday.  Marriage? you may ask...divorce? A new job? Birth?  Well kinda...More like a rebirth. I just made one of the biggest shifts of my life, and it all started about 30 long but short days ago.

It was August 16, 2010,  and after about a week of “OFF THE CHART PAIN” in my left shoulder that started with a simple ache in my left deltoid, I was dressed for my Monday meeting, walking around in my chiropractor’s office completely freaking out from the pain, just about to hyperventilate and unable to even stand in one place for 2 seconds...back and forth...back and forth...I paced all over the room, screaming in pain.

My chiropractor, a great friend of mine, walks in and say's, “Dude, what happened to you?”  

"I have no idea!!! I woke up a few days back with this ache in my deltoid and now this," I explained in complete agony. He attempted to touch me, and I started freaking out even more. 

He said, "There is no way I’m touching you- you're going to the ER right now!!!"

After arriving at the nearest ER, dressed in my Monday morning best like I was really going to get a quick adjustment and hit my meeting...yeah right, they rush me in immediately (lucky for them) and asked what was wrong with me. I'm holding my left shoulder in meltdown mode from the pain and say,

"My left shoulder is F'ing killing me"

“How did this happen?” they questioned.

"I have no clue; I just woke up a few days ago with a simple ache in my deltoid, and here I am.”

BAM!!! Before I knew it...Valium shot #1 and things chilled a bit...

“How does that feel?” they asked.

"I feel pretty chill, but my freaking shoulder is still killing me." BAM!!!  Morphine shot #1...

“How do you feel now?”  they asked.

 "I'm now very chilled, and ready to hit the club...I'm feeling pretty good here, but my freaking shoulder is still killing me" BAM!!!!  Diluadid shot #1...

“How do you feel now?”  they asked.  

"I'm SUPER chilled, I'm ready to hit the club, and finally my pain is about a 9 instead of a 100, on a 10 point scale."  

“Perfect” they said...Off to imaging for what would be the first of about 6 MRI's in the next 30 days.

By the time my MRI was finished, all the medication was failing to keep the pain manageable, and they repeated steps 1,2 and 3 and it was off to the club again. I was feeling much better even if my pain was just manageable.  They gave me Percocet 7.5 and told me to see my primary physician pronto.  Little did I know that I would hit the emergency room 3 more times all in the next 2 weeks.

The next day, I hit my Primary Physician, and they put me through checking my temperature, checking my weight...REALLY?  The Percocet is barely keeping me from being arrested for slapping the people and saying “HEY YOU! MY FREAKING SHOULDER IS KILLING...I COULD CARE LESS WHAT I FREAKING WEIGH, OR WHAT MY TEMPERATURE IS...I WAS JUST HERE 2 MONTHS BEFORE FOR THAT POOR EXCUSE TO GET MY $20 CO-PAY AND BILL MY INSURANCE COMPANY FOR $500, FOR A BUNCH OF LAME CHARGES!” They call that an annual exam in case you are wondering.  So they begin the process of avoiding admitting that they are clueless about my condition, by the standard process...A referral!!!  This would be first of about 20 + over the next few weeks.

In the next 2 weeks, I would hit the ER 3 more times and even worse, I was treated like a drug addict in one of them because they thought I was just in there for pain meds because it was 4 in the morning.  I tried to explain to them that I had been up all night with a pain level that was close to making me pass out, and I was not working them for drugs.  I guess I kinda get it… They see people all the time trying to work them for pain meds, but they should have a pretty good radar by now and be able to tell real pain from fake.  

Then I hit the ER for the 4th and final time. I was just in the same ER a couple nights before and the Dr. was aware of my situation and had contacted the specialist after my 3rd ER visit to confirm my story, so he was anxious to give me injections of Diluadid and get my pain down ASAP. After meltdown mode had passed, he said, “Weren't you just in the imaging department yesterday getting 3 MRI's?” 

"Yep, I sure was.”  

He said, “Well let me see if the reports have been issued yet.”  He came back, and it was BOMB #1.

The Dr. sat me down and tells me I have 2 tumors and a thing called a Syrinx Formation in my back.  What?  Me?  How?  I mean that stuff happens to other people, I was thinking.  It was almost like I expected a life changing event based on the crazy turn the last 2 weeks had taken, but this?  For real?  Yes, it was for real, and now I knew what the enemy looked like as he showed me MRI images of the tumors: one located on the left side of my neck, just behind my collar bone and the other on the right side of my lower neck close to my spine, and the "cyst" type THING called a Syrinx Formation located in my upper back.

Instead of talking to me about my tumors, the Dr decided to talk with me about the Syrinx Formation.  Here's what he said  "I'm sorry to tell you that you have a syrinx , and it is a pre cursor to a condition called Syringomeylia. There is no cure.  It rots your spinal cord."  

What?  As if me being told I had 2 tumors wasn't bad enough...now I have something I can't pronounce and it doesn't have a cure?  As you can imagine, I was devastated. Now, the hard part: I had to go home and tell my wife.

I hate to leave you hanging but mama bear has a girls night tonight that is long over due, so it’s daddy and 3 kids for the rest of the night.  I hope you come back to read the rest of my story...it gets intense.